Jess

What a down girl, gets what im on about, and can respect my choice rather than crack the shits about it. Decent.

Night

Just got cruisy to GNT, ignored homework. Rulin'. Work sucked so im tuning out. I think i might have to skip photography again, finish off English so i can pass at least. Have to explain to Ali, but she should be cool. I need a new job, and to grow a fucking set.

Day

Alrighty, didnt see her today, so it's a weak reason, but one none the less. Im building to it, ill talk to her.

Kicks

Alright so bought some new shoes. Fresh new Nikes. Gotta wear them in. Ill wear them to go see Spina. I realised today i miss Delilah, was just thinking, and yeah, it also came to mind how much shit i've fucked up because im selfish.

Life

I've decided that edge is no longer for me.
This is not because everyone is doing it, but after a long talk with Matt, he's helped me open my eyes to the problems in the scene. It used to be about self control and doing whats best for yourself, now its about fitting in and being included. I will continue to not drink, smoke, do drugs or get around. These beliefs are too deeply set in myself to change anytime soon.
I'd just like to thank everyone who has helped me along the way, given kind words to keep me in it, but it seems the better path is no longer the better path. The past 2-3 years will never be forgotten, and i look forward to a future with all my friends still by my side, regardless of x's or not.
Thank you.

Regardless

I think ive said this over and over, and i can't remember what it's from, but im sick and tired of being sick and tired. And im sick of being lonely.

Balls

I couldnt bring myself to do it. Saw her a fair bit but i just couldnt do it.
Im losing skate ability, but getting cleaner on my bass. Tweaked my amp a little bit to get sounds right, hopefully prac this weekend to get this going.

Raelene

Thank god for girls like this. I could never thank her enough for her support over all these years. Shes convinced me to have a go.

School

Doing tallies with Tyson, best. He won today, putting us at 1-1. Multimedia Avenger is back, armed with new keyboards. Software, biggest joke ever. Psych, SAC is tomorrow, won't study and get an A again probably. English, gotta do a heap of work before Thursday or Friday or something, cram it all the night before. Ill do my focus statement for photography now. Shooting with Ahmet next week. Dude is a crazy cunt.
I am sick of the people i know now, im sick of not being able to talk to girls, im sick in general. Just needed to get those out of the way.

Band

Just a music update. Falling deeper and deeper in love with La Dispute, so heavy. Nothing else really taking my interest too heavily at the moment.
Just hoping this project with Bill, Nick and Cory gets off the ground. Any guitarists interested in joining a decent band, get in touch.
Hoping even more shit with Justin and James gets kicking. That is going to be the best ever. Tight bunch of dudes messing around and making good honest shit.

Work

Again, finding out more stuff. I get my shifts reduced because i'm the only person that will actually question managers and say no.

Mercenaries

Cbf talking to people. I wish i could believe in karma, then i'd know at least one day, i'd get payed back for all this bullshit i put myself through to help others. I won't say ill stop, because i can't. I try too hard to be nice to those who i feel need it, what a waste.
Going to play Mercs 2 for the rest of the night. Anybody who reads this, text me.

Tonight

I think ill just chill on the net, telling people how 'I find you sexually attractive.' Fun,

Day

Work, boring except for Liam. City, always great seeing Jenn, but i was on the cold side, wearing my 50L singlet. Now im home, i think i might skate down to Subway. Tad hungry.

Work

Killer. A job that used to take 3 people 4 hours, now is just me for 3 hours. Cool.

Fuckin'

I need balls mate. There is one girl at school, can't keep my eyes off her. But of course, im a dick and cant talk it up, and shes from a completely different walk. No chance.

Rain

Ruining my day yet again. Like, i enjoy it, but when im trying to skate and shoot, it messes shit up.

Girls

As much as i hate it, there are 3 girls who will never escape my mind or heart. Best bit, they are the 3 who i will never have.

Want

I want a big house, a good friend who is a modelling agent, and a studio. Then i'd have a chance.

Deal

Okay, so yesterday was the biggest drainer ever. Work was dumb, reduced to one grill. Silverback was sick, but standing just killed me. Then sisters 21st, Nicky was on my back about photos the whole time so it just got annoying. Was so glad to get home.
Today, got up early and got to Aesthetic, learnt a new song with the boys, hopefully this gets further than BBE did. Did live recordings, i messed up a bit, but oh well.

Simple

Yesterday was great. Just got out, missed school, skated around taking a few photographs. Ive only used half my roll of film, so next time i do it, have to travel round some more.
Bigday ahead today. 5 hours work soon, then bit of a rest, Silverback and Sun Tzu, then home to clean up and then to sisters 21st. Fuck that.

Alright

In somewhat of a decent mood. Went to Spargo's for dinner, host was really nice, talked to him about vegetarianism. Work was shit because Edward is a dick. Day was boring as. But got a good meal, so im okay.

School

School is bullshit mate. Software, fucked around with each others computers, psych, just chilled and got told off for answering too much, multimedia, drifted for a period then left early because it was a substitute, english, just started writing lyrics for my song, which i have re-written and started re-recording. Bust my soundcard so temporarily on halt.
The world needs to man the fuck up. I say anything these days, every cunt takes offence to it. How about you learn to deal with it.

Mate

Some kids are fucking pathetic. 'Still young,' fuck off. By now you should understand yourself and life somewhat. Ill give you one thing, you treat relationships like youre only 12. 'YOURE MINEEEEEEE.' Grow up, learn to keep your life to yourself.

FFFFFUUUU

Back to school, do not want.

Falling

Just gave in, ive resisted so long. I miss it so much, and i hate it so much. Im paranoid about everything i read, im getting angrier every second. Fucking, sucks.
I miss Gabe, bitch leaves me for Bali, and texts me about how good it is, hating on her at the moment. Enjoying talking to Abbey though, shes pretty nice, and pretty.
Anyway, im getting shat on by work again. Shifts cut when im on, makes it difficult for me and others, store trying to save themself less than half an hours worth of profit by putting everyone under pressure.
I need a car and a license, drive to Bendigo, Frankston etc. where i have friends i want to see and spend time with. Its getting to the point where friends i used to have faith in have just abandoned me. Thank god for ESJC though, tightest set of boys, going to live with them, fuck getting a wife.

Stoked

Not stoked. The heading is a lie. I hate churches. Waste of forests. All the wood for something that doesn't exist, useless. I will sit through the ceremony, not standing, not kneeling, sit and talk to Abbey. Hymns, shut up, prayer, shut up and so on. If your god is all-powerful, couldn't he convert everybody to his religion of choice?

Miss

I miss Anglesea, i miss Gabe and texting her for free, instead of 50c, i miss, that's about it at the moment. Anglesea is the biggun, everything sucks after those good vibes.

Glad

Im glad im past that now, my mind is re-opened, worlds off my shoulders, excited. Im going to miss Gabe, has to leave me for Bali.

Gabe

Just found out how today could have been so much better, haha, girl is a laugh. Abusive, but great.

Bruno

Shit movie mate. Borat was much better, but like every movie is has highlights. I dont even care, met Gabe today, lovely girl, and gorgeous as all heck. Im eating chips now, and i think i might play some Halo soon. Not much to say today, seeing Gabe and buying Cold Streets has cheered me up. Im over the whole Alex thing now, i figure shes missing out, ive treated her right, shes done wrong by me. Easy.

Re-Tribute

Josh, we have our conflicts, but you're such a strong kid, im always here for you man

Tribute

I think i should really pay respects to some people. Jennifer, youre always there for me, even though i did things to you that no girl deserves. Nadeemy, thanks for always being solid. Justin, Liam, James, Daniel, the best blokes to exist, such a solid group of boys, always have my back, and ill always have theirs. If i missed you, theres a reason.

Fallen

Everything is just dropping my mood. The most perfect day of my life, just, nothing. The only reason I even have the effort to do this right now is because Spina, Nat, and Jenn managed to salvage any hope i had in my heart today.
And to further it, my good family friend and somewhat hero, Lou Cara, has passed away, after years of battling leukemia. The man was solid, from pushing me in my younger running days, to watching us at netball, he was such a strong figure in my life. He always gave me reason to run when i was younger, i want to do something to honour him.

Sam.

You are fucking worthless. Time and time again i've offered you everything i have, you've meant the fucking world to me. I've tried harder than i have with any other girl, and never let it die, but fuck you, you're fucking dead to me. You have no future.

Sick

Im sick of fucking heartless cunts.

Anglesea

It was absolutely amazing. I was devastated when we were leaving, such an amazing weekend. Took some great photos, had some great fun, cleared my mind heaps. Talked to Leah heaps, shes great, worked up the courage to give a girl my number, turns out she was a prick. Still deciding whether i want to see Alex tomorrow.
Extreme Sand-Jump Crew, made my holidays, deadset, photos will be up on my myspace soon.

Angelsea

Going away today, and in light of a few things, it might relax me a bit. Works still bullshit, Mum's still over-parenting, sister is still rot. Nothing changes, as much as you think something changes slightly, it is always the same in the end. 3 things are certain in life, death, taxs, and Hilltop Hoods working the mic. Good shit, can't get enough.
Wont update til like Tuesday or Wednesday, hope all is well til then.

Cooking

Alright, wanted to do this for the last few days, so tonight I am making pasta pie. Just prepared the base, used shortcrust pastry, hoping its the right gear. Ill cook my pasta about 6, mix in my sauce and a lot of fucking cheese (Sorry Alex), chuck it in the base, coat with cheese and cook it a bit, then top with puff pastry, egg glaze and finish off the puff pastry AND VOILA. Keen as.