Yesterday

Didnt get to post about a rad day because my sister was online so ill make up for it today. Morning, worked, blew, like usual. But got home, started talking to Buzo, organised to go skate with him and Buster, and that was the best idea ever. Although my camera broke, the day ruled. From actually skating to Just Jeans, it just made it all a good day. Got home, ate, and slept. Overall, a good day.
Sitting here planning when to go shower, got school in 2 hours. Yuck.

Peace

I haven't posted much, sorry to those who read this, but ive just had my mind elsewhere. Ive been focusing on my photography, finished the first roll of film with Ahmet yesterday, had to get it out of my camera the hard way, hopefully it didnt get exposed at all. Ahmet is an amazing kid, fucking, has had the worst luck when it comes to girls, life, everything. He has such a kind heart and always takes a back seat for someone elses needs. Its people like him that I can place what little faith in humanity i have in.

Cold

Freezing right now, will change into my pajamas and get blankets. Rules.

Lazy

Getting lazy with posting, sorry people who read, im just, yeah, losing my mind, cool.

Cube

Can not get enough of Ice Cube - It Was a Good Day. Like, listening to it, over and over and over and over. So good. Atmosphere also killing my mind.
Getting further and further with the Gildan wholesale organisation, its good fun to organise this, strange. I developed some photos from Anglesea on Friday, get to pick them up tomorrow.

Failure

My computer, my life, everything is a failure to me. I can't get a decent girl, i can't trust my family to own up to breaking shit. And im alone in picking up the pieces and fixing shit.

Dicks

Everything turns to fucking shit. I have a semi-alright day, just cruising along, talking to Grace, then all of a sudden it all goes to shit again. I see photos from Anglesea which just put me down, and then Grace just cracks the shits and stops talking. I fucking hate this.

Work

Gay as mate. Over it. Good vibes though for some reason.

Work

Found the photo of my work from today. Good 3 hours or so worth. Doesn't look like much, but considering one of those is a 500 second exposure, i think i did well.

Rain

Again, the morning depression kicks in, can't wake up. Took the chemicals of the darkroom to bring my mind to focus, and when it did, it wasn't the best. Thought about Anglesea some more, i know it's going anywhere, but there is always hope in my heart.
Saw the girl from my school, her hair was down, i freaked out, she's gorgeous.
Went to see Jenn, took that to actually bring me to this world. Listened to Atmosphere, it was somehow calming.

Yo

People that follow this, i'd actually like to hear your thoughts and for you to talk to me. Get in touch on my myspace, or facebook. Myspace link is on my profile, and facebook on my myspace.

Home

Alright day, not good, not bad. Still thought about her heaps.

Final

Last thoughts for tonight. I have nothing to be proud of, yet i have nothing to be ashamed of. I live in this neutral state of not worrying, and not caring. It's good, but not good enough. I don't know how to change it.

Mould

When you break free of the mould, the mould still exists. Rather than escaping, destroy it. Don't walk past people that want to talk in the street, stop, talk to them, open your mind to their cause. Its amazing what really happens in the world. From now on, when im walking around in the city alone, i vow to talk to those promoting a good cause. I started today, and although i couldn't sign up because im 17, i met some great people.

Winner

I bet nobody has realised that my last 4 blog posts (not including this) tell a story.

My

Just made facebook, no clue whats going on, sick of not being able to talk to girls, wasted another chance.

Life

I want to be a gastrotrich. Simple. Nobody knows you, can't see you, and if anything goes wrong, hey, you're dead in a day or two, who cares.
Amelia is making me think about things, i enjoy it.

Sucks

All i can think about is her, and it fucking blows. I need someone, one, im beyond trying to find perfection. Im 17, there is so much time to find perfect, i need something solid that i can either find my perfect in, or that will understand it's not a lifetime relationship at 17.

Dicks

I love Anglesea, then i have to fucking return back to a depressed state. Last night, was probably the best night of my life. Pub with good mates, pool, Barry, killed it. Then went to the girl's house, met an extremely cute girl, spent the night with her, then around 4am, finally went to bed, and it was amazing. But as with every girl i meet, it sucks. Im 17, she's 19, and she doesn't like that. Although i wish i could change that, i can't, and it blows.
Fuck massive anti-hype form Anglesea.

Again

Going again, peace

Workin'

Sucked balls. Got kicked off my own job to help others out, and then nobody helps me out. Typical.
Kayla still hasn't put our plan into practice, so im still 'taken,' sorry.
On the final note, Sam rules hard, he loves blogging so much I included him in this post.

Mistakes

The topic of the SAC today. Finished it heaps early.
On that note, mistakes are the topic of today in general. First off, my mission/bet with Spinz is about who can talk to the girl first, not girlfriend, my bad. And continuing from that, i nearly got there today. I had my number written on paper in my pocket all day today, but i never got a good chance to introduce myself.
Talked to Kayla today, im now her 'boyfriend,' for a good purpose.
Not keen to work tonight.

Downer

Back down to my depression state. I try so hard to make something work and offer myself up, and just get kicked in the teeth. Over this.
Some girls smiled at me tonight, got off the bus, giving me a chance to talk, and i couldnt. Im not made for girls. Fuck.

Skate

Good skate day today. Ahmet, nutter cunt, throws anything down anything. Got some good photos, can't wait to develop them and print them, going to be huge. Hopefully hook up more shoots with him soon.
Liz isn't talking much, sucks.

Moody

This photography thing is really pissing me off. You are not a photographer unless it is your career. You're fucking stupid. Having your own little photography myspace does not qualify you as a photographer. Anybody can take photos of inanimate objects out in the world, show some initiative and create, not capture. The way it's going, i'd agree photography is a science.

Art

The art community has gone to shit. Along with edge and hardcore, once a place for the truly lost and hopeless, now just a place for self proclaimed 'delinquents' that have no idea about its meaning or beginnings. I do not consider myself hardcore, or a photographer, although i listen to hardcore music and take photos. I think this view should be more widely held. Daddy buying you a digital SLR doesn't make you a photographer. Doubt they know what it means or how an SLR works. Wet process is dying, but i'll hold true to it.

Mission

It's on. Spinz and I are taking a one on one challenge, first to get a girlfriend wins. This will provide much enjoyment. He could win if he asked any girl.
Liz might be coming away with us this weekend, so good if she does!

Im nearly up to talking to her. Nearly.

Hypocritical

For all those i condemn, i am the same. I tell everyone to man the fuck up and deal with shit, yet i can't talk to this girl. I'm naturally finding out more stuff about her. She has class with Kelly when i have Multimedia. I want this to happen.

Alex is getting on my nerve. Decides to impose her idea of men onto me. Im not like them.

Tonight

Samir's was good, good chills with the other boys. Wallis, funny kid. But then i got in the car to go home, and i just like, fell. I lost my good vibes, started over thinking shit like usual.

Fuse

Fuse just blew, everything went down, provided minor entertainment. Now listening to Outbreak. One of the most underrated bands going around i'd say. They dont get as much exposure as Carpathian or Verse etc, but are just as good. Listen to them, or get fucked.

Devil

The Devil Went Down To Georgia. Keeping me amused. Downloading the sequel as we speak. Dicks to McDonalds, bored the shit out of me. Pretty broke at the moment, waiting for tax. Need it soon. I need a new board.